darkness deep like submarines

Some questions about writing fanfiction I was asked over on Tumblr! (The original list of questions that askers were selecting from, in case anyone wants to answer them or reblog it to their own Tumblr, is over here.)

is there an au or trope that you haven’t written before, but would want to try?

I had to think about this for a moment; usually, if I'm interested in writing a concept, I'll just write it! But maybe smut? I've written sex before, but my efforts at sex scenes tend to be very sparse and vague; I've never really attempted to write explicit, 18-rated 'you can see exactly what's going on' banging. It's crossed my mind that it'd be nice to be able to, but I find the prospect of research daunting; I feel the most educational options would probably be having sex for research purposes and/or watching a bunch of live-action pornography, neither of which I'm especially keen on.

what genre is generally the easiest or most enjoyable for you to write? which is the hardest?

I really enjoy writing comedy! I hadn't written much for a long time before getting into The Goes Wrong Show, and my Goes Wrong fandom adventures have really reminded me of how much fun it is to write something comedic. This may well be why I wrote such a startling amount for this fandom in such a short time; I was just having such a blast!

I really struggle with anything that requires sex or action scenes. I'm a dialogue person; description is something I'm much weaker on, and it's hard to get through a sex scene or an action scene without description!

if you could sit down and finish any completely new fic without anything stopping you (time, tiredness, etc), what would you write? tell us about it if you want!

Given that nothing is stopping me, including my tragic inability to write smut, I would write substantial quantities of absolute filth about Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show. The man does not get to fuck enough in fanfiction, and I deeply regret that I am unable to fix that.

To be fair, it’s not a smut-heavy fandom; I don’t think Robert specifically is being neglected! This is a ‘the fandom has a grand total of fourteen explicit fics’ situation rather than an 'everyone’s writing porn but nobody is into your favourite character’ one. But there is nonetheless a dire shortage of E-rated Robert fanfiction, and I can’t do anything about it!

what’s something you like about your writing?

I think I'm generally solid on character voice, provided we're in the magical window when I experienced canon recently and I have the voice established in my head! I lose my grip on character voice too quickly for my liking, but, while I've got it, it often feels like I have a good sense of how they'd phrase things. Some characters' voices come more naturally to me than others, though; I find it a lot easier to get into the 'middle-class, slightly pretentious English southerner' speech patterns of Chris Bean or Robert Grove than the voice of, say, Dean Winchester, who is a lot more American than I am.

is there a certain kind of fic that feels the most satisfying to finish? any reason why?

I post chaptered fanfiction very rarely, and I'm always nervous when I do! I've committed to this incomplete fic being seen in public; will I be able to finish it? I'm thrilled when I successfully manage to wrap one up.

if you were to write a part two/sequel to a fic, what fic would you want to write it for?

( Cut for Severance spoilers. )

is there a fic you wish you received feedback on, but didn’t get any/much?

There are assorted fics I've written that didn't get much feedback because they're in obscure fandoms, which is fine; that's to be expected! But the reception of Handprints (How to Get Away with Murder, Connor/Laurel/Michaela/Wes) surprised me a little; it's received almost a thousand hits, but only a single comment. For three and a half years, it had no comments at all, and I was convinced I'd screwed it up somehow; I was so thrilled when someone commented to say they liked it!

(solspeak, having asked this question, then very kindly left a comment on the fic in question, so it now has two comments!)

tell us about a wip/idea that you’re excited about!

I'm struggling with a shortage of ideas at the moment, unfortunately! There's one fic idea I've had that sort of fascinates me: the character of Chris is occasionally played by a woman in amateur productions of The Play That Goes Wrong, which got me wondering about writing Robert/female Chris. What changes about their dynamic when Chris is a woman; what stays the same? I bet Robert is still weirdly fixated on Chris, regardless of gender. But I just can't get any writing done on this concept; it's somehow not clicking into place in my head!

do you have any writing projects/goals/plans you’re working on/want to work on?

My writing goal is always just 'write things, have fun'! I've been contemplating whether to sign up to write fifty one-sentence fics about Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show for 1character, but I don't know if I'd be able to manage it; it's so tough to do comedy in one sentence.

how do you want your writing to feel to your readers?

This is an interesting question to contemplate! I suppose, stylistically, you could say that what I'm aiming for is invisibility.

My writing style tends to be very straightforward and unornamented. It's not to everyone's tastes! (I got a comment eight years ago describing my writing style as bland and 'a bit boring' and encouraging me to 'put your voice into it', and I have carried the wound of it to this day.) Some fic authors come out with gorgeous, poetic, memorable lines in the narrative, and, alas, I'm not doing that.

But what I'm often trying to do is let the style fade into the background. I want the narration to be as comfortably readable as possible, so the reader can focus on the story or on what's being said. My main stylistic priority in a scene, particularly a dialogue scene, is often 'how do I keep the narration from being distracting?'

So I think I just want my writing to feel readable and flow well! And I hope it's clear that love and enthusiasm went into it; I like the idea that people might read my fics and go 'oh, the author was having fun with this concept' or 'the author really loves this character, doesn't she?'

give a hint/teaser about something you’re writing without any context or explanation!

Alas, I don't really have any writing projects on the go at the moment! I'm largely inviting these fic questions because I'm suffering from writer's block, and I'm hoping that talking about writing might shake some sort of inspiration loose. I've been sort of playing with the idea of a Goes Wrong Show fic in which Chris kicks Robert out of the drama society and then starts to miss him? But the problem is that this fic requires Robert not to be there, and I enjoy writing Robert far too much to accept that state of affairs.

answer any one of the other questions that you want to!

Most of the questions have been asked already (thank you all!), so I found myself contemplating 'if you were to rewrite [insert fic] with [insert different character/ship] how do you think it might change?', and it suddenly hit me that Twice Shy (The Goes Wrong Show, Robert/Chris, Robert becomes a vampire) could very easily be rewritten as a Robert/Vanessa fic! It's established that Robert is feeding on Vanessa offscreen, after all.

A Robert/Vanessa version of Twice Shy would basically just be the story from Vanessa's perspective. She learns that Robert is a vampire; she's terrified by the prospect of letting him drink her blood, both because being bitten by a vampire is inherently scary and because it's Robert, but she's worried about him being undernourished and she doesn't know how to say no. Like Chris, she's an anxious person who might find some relief in the calming qualities of Robert's venom. Unlike Chris, she's probably not going to tell Robert 'no, don't use the venom, make it hurt'. Which is a shame, because it's a lot hotter when it hurts!

(Fun behind-the-scenes fact about Twice Shy: I originally only planned to have one scene with Robert feeding on Chris, but, writing the first feeding scene, I found myself going 'no, I fucked up, it's not hot if he's not in pain.' I was forced to engineer a way for it to hurt.)

A roundup of recent ficlets I've written in response to requests on Tumblr! And only two of them are for The Goes Wrong Show! See, I'm still capable of writing about other things.


( The Goes Wrong Show, Chris and Robert, violence, 300 words. )

( The Goes Wrong Show, Dennis and Chris, name confusion, 230 words. )

( The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, Ashley and Julia, makeup, 270 words. )

( Final Fantasy VIII, Rinoa and Seifer, postgame, 420 words. )

( Death Note, Light and L, bodyswap, 230 words. )


If you have any ficlet requests of your own, let me know; they'd be very welcome! It's too hot to leave the house at the moment, so I'm looking for creative ways to pass the time indoors.

Alternatively, let me know if there's any particular topic you'd like to see me cover on one of my websites! The websites in question are for Final Fantasy VIII, Silent Hill 2, Death Note, Danganronpa and The Goes Wrong Show.

I... suppose there's nothing preventing you from saying, 'I'd like to see your websites cover your opinion on Max and Chloe's relationship in Life Is Strange,' but there's no obvious place on my websites to put that, so in that case I might just respond to your comment with my Max and Chloe thoughts.

More Goes Wrong Show questions from Tumblr! I'm always delighted to receive these.


Anonymous: How would the girls feel about playing boys?

Annie throws herself with enthusiasm into male roles and has a great time. Even in the Cornley Drama Festival, when she had control over the staging and casting, she actively chose to play a man in her farce; it’s definitely something she’s happy to do!

Vanessa is more or less neutral on playing male roles; a role is a role like any other. However, male roles do add an extra source of stress; she worries about whether she’s believably depicting a man, and she’ll panic if she messes up in some way, e.g. if her voice slips.

Sandra dislikes playing male roles. She’s here to be a sexy lady, and she feels that being cross-cast gets in the way of that. Which is a shame, because she looked great as a boy in 'The Most Lamentable...'!

Lucy is stressed out in any role, but she slightly prefers playing boys because it means she doesn’t have to hear Robert’s bizarre ideas about How to Be Feminine.


mosswall: What does the venn diagram look like between Robert Goes Wrong Show and Jeremy Clarkson?

Extremely heavy but not quite complete overlap!

- Robert only: fictional, obsessed with acting.
- Clarkson only: non-fictional, obsessed with cars.
- Both: large, loud, aggressive, ridiculous, attention-grabbing, destructive, distinctive style of speaking, oblivious to others, highly entertaining, cause a lot of problems, part of a close-knit but frequently antagonistic group of friends who manage to make everything into a disaster, outrageously fun to write, people give me weird looks when they learn that I think they’re hot.


Anonymous: I don’t know a lot about “the show that goes wrong” but do you think they would perform death note the musical and if they did perform death note the musical who would get which role.

I’m going to say that Max would play Ryuk - he’s got the grin for it - and Chris would give himself the role of Light. Annie would be fun as Misa! I can see Sandra as Rem.

Robert demands to be L. Chris refuses to cast him as L; he instead casts Robert as Light’s father and gives the role of L to Jonathan. Inevitably, though, Jonathan is unable to get onto the stage during the performance, and Robert gleefully steps in. Chris and Robert definitely capture the intense hostile homoeroticism of Light and L’s duets, although some parts of the audience are confused by L apparently being Light’s father.


Anonymous: I was going to ask "shag marry kill" for the Goes Wrong crew, but there are too many of them! How many of them are there, nine? Okay. Shag, marry, kill, roommate, stuck in elevator with, fake married to, coworker, owe £10000 to, unexpectedly related to. I think that's nine.

Shag: Robert. It's unlikely to be a good idea, but, look, if I've got to shag one of them, I'm going to shag the hottest man I've ever seen.

Marry: Vanessa. I don't want to be married to anyone, and I think Vanessa's likely to accept 'actually, this was a mistake, wasn't it? let's get divorced' without complaint. Even if we end up permanently married, Vanessa is one of the more liveable-with members of the society, despite being a little high-strung.

Kill: Jonathan. He won't be able to get through the pearly gates, and they'll have to send him back to Earth.

Roommate: Annie. She's very warm and friendly and enthusiastic; I think we'd get along!

Owe £10,000 to: Dennis. He will forget, meaning I can pay him back in small instalments over a long period without Dennis ever hounding me or getting upset; he will, in fact, be surprised and delighted every time I give him money.

Unexpectedly related to: Maybe Max? He seems to have a wealthy and supportive family, after all! Maybe they can help out with the £10,000 I owe to Dennis.

At this point I realise, to my mild horror, that I have to choose between Chris and Trevor for 'stuck in elevator with' and 'fake married to'.

Stuck in elevator with: Chris. He will be stressed out, but he is a better option than Trevor, who will attempt to force the lift's doors open, causing it to plummet to the bottom of the shaft and killing us both.

Therefore, by process of elimination, I will end up fake married to Trevor. I'm not sure my family will be thrilled by my apparent marriage to a man who lives in a layby in two thirds of a caravan, but it beats dying in a falling lift.

WAIT, HOLD ON, I FORGOT SANDRA AND COWORKER WERE OPTIONS

In that case, I'll get stuck in the lift with Sandra and have Chris as a coworker. Chris is testy and I'm sure we'll rub each other the wrong way sometimes, but I'm also sure he will get his work done and respond to emails. Sandra will complain loudly the whole time we're stuck in the lift, but I can handle that. Again, the crucial thing, for my own safety, is that I do not end up stuck in a lift with Trevor.


I was also asked for my five favourite costumes Robert wears in The Goes Wrong Show; I'm going to link to my response on my Goes Wrong website because it includes a handful of screenshots.