darkness deep like submarines

I'm alive, I'm okay. The shortlist of stuff going on:

-- Okay yes I may have adopted two, count 'em two, cats since I moved here. Harley, a tortoiseshell who's shy with everyone except me and the most loving girl in her own way (she lovebites constantly sob), and Sigma, a black-and-white chubby boy who is a dog in a cat's body (ADORES humans, hates to be away from them, loves food, loves climbing on my fucking stove and cries when I shower????). If you count 'Harley' as a reference to Tenmyouji's biker speech from VLR, both of them are Zero Escape kitties. Harley is still trying to figure out if she likes Sigma and this consists mostly of trying to play with him only to hiss and swat if he dares play back with her.

-- I started dating already and that is going well? I'm having fun and meeting nice girls. Nothing serious yet. In hindsight my last relationship should've ended two years ago so I'm not broken up about it ending at all. My ex wasn't a bad person, just wrong for me and I think I for her. We are no longer in contact.

-- I got dumped by a close friend and for a long time it really fucked me up. It does still hurt but it hurts less every day. I cherish the memories, good and bad.

-- I've reconciled with my younger brother and we're talking again. Love is had. Don't give up on people you care about.

-- Work is a shitshow where I'm well-liked so there's that. I appreciate the huge opportunity I've been given to be an official property manager and handle a full lease-up but, like, goddamn this is stressful.

-- I'm an aunt for the fourth time! My older brother had his first kid and he is adorable.

-- Got back on all my meds and am doing much better mentally, I think.

-- I am not writing much, just too busy with work and trying to get a social life here off the ground. I've been picked on and off at my Fandom 5k fic and an NG fic where Amanome/Hazuki have a lavender marriage and both bang Akira on the regular. Mostly it's an excuse for yakuza power trio and sickass tats and porn.

-- Overall, I would say I am doing better than I have been in years.

I GOT A JOB OFFER.

It's a part-time gig in the field with a much better manager, similar commute (blech), new responsibilities...and way less pay. The manager said she'd talk to HR to negotiate a higher rate to offset the reduced hours/paycut. Logistically it would be tight as hell but it could work, I do have some savings and it would just be a big lifestyle change. The biggest pain is I'd lose my work health insurance as I just can't afford the tripled premium part-timers pay. But I can qualify for cheaper insurance via the market which is good because no insurance is not an option. Why is psychiatric upkeep so expensive.

Fun fact: If I had a car it would be a 12 minute drive from my house. Because I take transit it's 90+ minutes including a mile walk.

Either way I'm just waiting on final salary offer to formally accept the job. I'm so ready to go and the pros outweigh the anxiety pluuuuussss I have contingency plans if this doesn't work out. I'm nervous as hell but gotta leap.

Hello! Checking in with my public feed. :>

What's up with Vivs:

• I spent about two weeks in a psychiatric partial hospitalization program so that was great. I had a severe bipolar relapse; I'm feeling much better now. I got a lot of sleep and new medicine. Back to work on the 19th and I wish I was taking more time off but my leave is nonexistent and I could choose between 100% of my typical pay or 60% on short-term disability. I'm half-hopeful and half-"I want to vomit" at the thought of returning. Though props to my coworker who took my phone and called my psychiatrist while I sobbed that I had to clock back in and get back to my desk so I didn't have time to go to crisis clinic.


• I'm giving notice on March 29th, my 26th birthday. I've been having good luck with interviews and am fortunate to be debt-free so I can manage underemployment/unemployment for a while so I can do something that won't send me back to the hospital. Time away proved the stress and lack of sleep/social interaction is killing me.


• I finished Period Cube and tbh I don't get the bad reviews; this game was fun! Fave routes were: Hiroya, Astrum, and Poyo-poyo but shout out to my baby Zain. Stares at hands, I liked Demento and I don't know how to feel about that.


• Code Realize: ~Wintertide Miracles~ arrived today! So that's what I'll be doing all week after work. I got the limited edition for the acrylic stands and now Saint-Germain, Cardia, Victor, and Van Helsing are on my merch shelf.


• I got on Coursera and started "auditing" three courses on transmedia storytelling, including one about how to translate your idea into multiple mediums. I've done some of the coursework already and it's really fun to get back to one of my passions! Especially because I was sick for so long and had zero interest in writing.